If you thought the Jaws franchise finished with Michael Caine joining up with Chief Brody’s wife to finally put an end to the Brody/Bruce(do sharks have last names? Bruce Jaws maybe? The Jaws’?) conflict, you’d be right, and that’s actually quite a good thing. After Jaws 4: The Revenge, the series slipped beneath the waves to be buried where it should of because, well it was just getting silly. The shit they make you swallow in number 4 is just so ridiculous, it’s laughable. What was once a film that awoke a dormant fear in everyone that saw it, turned into an interspecies blood feud that I guess can only be compared to something akin to a Jeremy Kyle episode? Continue reading “The real revenge of Jaws: Jaws 5”
Whenever Gordon Ramsay likes a dish, his go to saying is, ‘wowowow’. This trifecta of awe is a simply yet effective way of expressing, to me at least, that he approves of the ingredients, the way the food looks on the plate, and the way it tastes. The reason I bring this up is because I can think of no more fitting expression to summarise my thoughts on the new adaptation of, in my opinion, Stephen King’s best work – if I were to do it briefly that is. Continue reading “A love letter to IT (2017) part 1: From Book to Film”
When you’re a film lover, one of the best things is to love something you watch. You get to end credits and you feel like you’ve just had a big glass of some refreshing fruit juice that leaves an exquisite taste in your mouth. That said, it can also be really fun to hate things too. But then, there are other times, when hating on a film is fun wasteland, and that’s when you get to the end credits and feel bitterly disappointed. And that, I’m sad to say, is where I place my thoughts on Alien: Covenant. Continue reading “Bitter Bastard: Alien:Covenant”
If you’ve ever seen, or even heard of Eli Roth’s pretty notorious film series, Hostel, you know that they’re pretty simplistic films. A lot of critics and movie-goers alike believe these films to have pretty much single-handedly created the badge of shame on films that have followed their footsteps, in the term, ‘torture porn’. And while I don’t think that they really deserve such harsh finger pointing, it’s hard to find anything of real substance in such shallow films.
There’s no doubt in my mind that Rogue One: A Star Wars story will continue to dominate conversation topics across the world for some time now, and I say, let it be so. I know from the title of this article that it sounds like I’m about to start giving a Star Wars film shit that isn’t The Phantom Menace, but don’t worry, I’m not completely insane – I actually quite liked Rogue One. Overall, it was a decent film, I mean, it wasn’t The Force Awakens by any stretch, but it certainly wasn’t on the level of ‘I’ll try spinning, that’s a good trick’ or ‘I hate sand’ kind of Star Wars we’ve seen – and even those, I can’t say I really hate.
Everyone has a favourite Christmas film – everyone. There is anyone in the civilized world celebrating the holiday, that hasn’t got a choice for the one festive film that really warms their Christmas cockles. We put our feet up, drink something warm and sit in the glow of a beautifully lit tree; it’s something I look forward to every year. Pure and simply, Christmas is great, and so are Christmas films because they show us just how great Christmas is.
There is no gentle way to start this post, perhaps because it touches upon such a taboo subject – well taboo for some, normal for others – so I might as well just avoid beating around the bush and say that spoof porn is so weird. Continue reading “Spoof Porn is Seriously Weird”